One joins a gang for various reasons. However, choosing to continue to live out the gangster lifestyle always involves a series of choices. All of life, in fact, involves a series of choices. As one may have already learned firsthand by experience, or needs to learn through maturity, the choices we make now always correlate to consequences immediately or just down the road.

When one joins a gang one chooses
a. a specific group of friends
b. a specific manner of thinking or lifeview, based on what the chosen friends have laid out as a framework
c. a specific way of living out day-to-day activities
d. (typically) a specific form of dress and speech
e. allegiance to the above-indicated choices

What a young person may not realize, though, is that when she chooses to participate in gang association with her new group, related others become associated with the group without ever choosing for themselves. At school or in the neighborhood a child who is gang-affiliated is typically directly associated with his group and its ideals and activities. When the child comes home he, unfortunately, now involves his mom, dad and brothers and sisters in his chosen way of life. When the child goes to school, the same association is made of the student and he brings his gang association to the school and classroom. Fellow students and teachers now have to deal with gang-related issues owing to a gang-affiliated child's attitude, behavior, and way of thinking and acting.

No man is an island unto himself. What affects one classmate or relative, affects others in the immediate realm.

So often I hear young people say: "Well, it's my life. Don't trip on how I want to live it." With a child's life inexperience and propensity for poor decision-making, as well as a child's economic and situational dependence on those around him, the child has no idea what he is uttering. All humans are linked to each other in a myriad of ways directly and indirectly. Children are inextricably linked to the adult world and society and cannot state that their life is their own by any measure.  

If you as a child have said this, you have to realize just how wrong you are and how immature and selfish you appear when you say this.

Because gangs are typically competitive and proud, intermingling with other similar groups in the neighborhood and school will eventually bring problems and danger stemming from rivalry. Whether a gang is a delinquent group, neighborhood turf group, or group involved in criminal activity like drug sales, tagging or underage drinking party hosting problems with other groups, the community and law enforcement will eventually arise. Coupled with typical Hispanic machismo and selfish pride, relationships with other groups can lead to fights, terroristic  threats, tagging crossouts and death.

Gang members typically find themselves watching their backs all the time.

Danger is typically always present in El Paso, Southern New Mexico youth gang participation in various forms.

I urge parents especially not to blind themselves to the signs of possible gang affilitation. So often I speak with parents who refuse to accept that their little Johnny might be involved in a gang or do marijuana or other drugs. Parents often even get angry when they are nicely advised that their child appears to be heading off in a direction towards gang affiliation. As law enforcement and detention specialists will often say, parents are, sadly, often the last to know that their child is involved in the gang lifestyle.

Remember: YOU are the parent. YOU have the final say in how your child dresses, speaks, participates in and who he associates with. Being proactive and preemptive about gang activity can avoid a lot of problems down the road. The earlier the child is removed from the possibility of gang affiliation the easier it is to keep that child on track. When a child turns 16 it is usually very difficult to extricate the child from the strongholds of the gang mentality and association.

If you are reading this and you are a teen or pre-teen, consider that choosing to dress, walk and talk a certain way especially when in the company of others who do the same will cause those around to label you as a gang member. Many young people tell me that they are not gang members but only "hang around" with gang member types. As the Spanish-language proverb goes: "Dime con quien andas, y te dire quien eres" ("Point out who you hang out with and I'll tell you the kind of person that you are.")

Law enforcement and school officials don't have the time and luxury of waiting around to ask if you are gang affiliated. If they believe you are, you are likely to be given correspondent treatment. Many upstanding citizens do not think highly of the gang lifestyle, no matter how attractive it may seem to a youngster. Straight up, many citizens consider the gangster lifestyle one for low-lifes and people with little ambition and direction. Given the kinds of activities gangster types involve themselves in the judgment is not necessarily without merit.

If you are interested in leaving the gang lifestyle, you must first make a decision to leave the life permanently. This begins with a change of attitude about what that type of lifestyle is about and leads to. As a professional who has worked with many gang-affiliated youth over the years I can tell you that continued gang life typically leads three directions:

REGULAR DRUG USE or DRUG DEPENDENCE (typically marijuana, tobacco and alcohol)
FREQUENT INCARCERATION
REGULAR DANGER or UNTIMELY DEATH